


And We Were All Ghosts

by TreeBin



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Broken Families, F/F, Five Stages of Grief, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Heavy Angst, Learning not to be a piece of shit bascially, Mental Health Issues, Mild Gore, Past Lucretia/Maureen, Recovery, Robots, Science Fiction, Self-Hatred, Spoilers for Episode: e029-039 The Crystal Kingdom Parts 1-11, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 18:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20344726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreeBin/pseuds/TreeBin
Summary: Lucas Miller had never been truly alone before. He always had his mother with him, but when she dies, he decides he has to bring her back, or, a story showing how loss affects the local garbage man and how it shaped his actions in Crystal Kingdom. Takes place between Maureen's death and the start of Crystal Kingdom.





	And We Were All Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING:
> 
> This chapter has some light gore and blood, and a character death. Read with caution if you're easily affected by those things.
> 
> I wanted to write about the shithead himself, partially because there isn't a lot of fics about him. I'm not sure if this will ever be completed, as I'll probably lose motivation. Also, this is my first fic in over a year and my first for this fandom! It may be shit, who knows.
> 
> Comments are always super appreciated!! :)

Lucas strutted down the airlock, hands buried in his lab coat pockets, his left fist curled around his prize. Air hissed and wires crackled around him as the ambiance of the lab filled his ears. To someone who wasn’t used to the mechanical humming, it would seem off-putting, or really fucking annoying. To Lucas, though, it was home You’d get used to it if you lived in a floating lab. His sneakers squeaked on the polished floors, echoing into the long hallways. Stale light fell across his shoulders from the ceiling. A proud smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he flashed a grin to the empty hallway. He felt stupid, but he was allowed to be happy. He had earned it.

Lucas stopped at an airlock, leaned over to the control panel and punched in a code. It hissed open, air escaping from the mechanism, and he slipped through, almost skipping. Shit, she was gonna be so _ happy. _The scientist turned a corner, impatient that her room was so far away. He still couldn't believe he found it. It was just sitting there, on the ground, in an alley. He almost walked right past it, hurrying to get home, but something tugged at his stomach. Lucas turned, and there it was. On the ground, in an alley. A plain, smooth stone. There was something about it that drew his attention. What it was, he wasn't sure. Not yet. But he would be, they just had to run some tests. 

He spotted her room up ahead, directly across from his. Maureen’s door was swung open, as if inviting someone inside for a chat and a cup of tea. Not that many people came to the Miller lab. It was just Lucas and Maureen, and the hug-bears, but they didn't _ really _count. No, it was always just the two of them, as long as he could remember. Lucas and Maureen. That's the way it should be, and will always be. No matter what. As he got closer to the door, the faint smell of fresh rain wafted out, and he heard a voice humming a tune that was always in the back of his mind. A quiet, peaceful melody. Lucas doubted he could ever forget it. He smiled wide, then pressed his lips together tightly to try and smoother it. He didn't want to ruin the surprise.

Lucas stood in the doorway, silent for a moment, glancing into the room. His mom was hunched over a desk, covered with twisted metal scraps, tools that could fix anything imaginable, and potted plants labeled with numbers and letters. The evening light flooded into the room through a porthole, casting a golden spotlight on her. She cut small leaves away from an orchid that hung downward as if it was carrying the weight of the world. 

Lucas knocked gently. “Hey Mom, what’s up?”

She swirled her chair to look at him and gave a small smile, eyes crinkling. Her hands were covered in dirt from the potted orchid. God, that was one thing Lucas could never understand about his mother; her fascination with plants. What the hell do they even _ do? _ They just sit there, doing absolutely nothing. Sure, maybe they had some medicinal properties, but _ whatever _. Lucas could never keep the fucking things alive; he’d take robots any day.

Maureen Miller sat up from her chair, wiping the dirt from her hands on her worn lab coat. Under her long coat, she wore pale jeans and a plain, green sweater. She always dressed plainly; it was just easier, and Lucas thought that way too. Guess he got it from her. A pendant, a smaller model of the typical Stone of Farspeech that the Bureau was equipped with, hung loosely around her neck. Lucas had the same, shoved into one of his pockets. They were forced to have one, everybody was. Her greying dark hair was pulled into a bun, loose strands floating around her face. 

She sighed. “Well, if you _ must _ know, one of the orchids isn't doing great, but that can wait for now. You’ve got something to tell me, right?.” 

Lucas smiled, cocking an eyebrow. “How did you know?”

She laughed. “Your eyes light right up when you're excited. They always have, ever since you were just a little kid. You think I don't notice that shit, Luke? I'm your mother, for God’s sake. I know _ too _much about you.” She smiled mischievously, leaning on her desk, careful not to disturb the mess of objects. 

“Oh, God, you really have no life then, huh?” He joked, voice dripping with sarcasm. He absent-mindedly passed his fingers over the smooth surface of the stone in his pocket, growing slightly impatient. 

“Neither do you. All you do is hang out with your poor ol’ mother.” She fired back, her dark eyes darting to the movement in his lab pocket, then locking onto his. She raised her eyebrows at him, then gestured to his pocket. “So… What’s that, Luke?”

Lucas smiled, then slowly raised his fist out of his pocket and holding it out in front of him, the Philosopher's stone closed inside. Puzzled, she walked closer, a playful smile darting across her lips. “You’re so dramatic. Seriously, is this another goof or something? ” She asked, an amused look in her eyes. “Not a goof, I promise.” He smiled. “Check this shit out.” Lucas opened his hand, the Philosopher’s Stone laying flat in his palm.

The smile dropped from Maureen’s face and she rushed forward, getting a better look at the plain stone. Her eyes glinted with a barely restrained hunger. “Holy shit,” she whispered, reaching out to touch it. “How… How did you find it?’. She gently took it from his hands, holding the Grand Relic up to the light to get a better look. “Found it, actually. Pure luck. Can you believe that shit or what?” She brushed her fingers over it, as if tracing an invisible pattern, her voice barely above a whisper. “Wow. Incredible.”

Lucas stared at it in her hands, unable to hold in his idea any more. He was surprised that she hadn't even suggested it yet. Hmm.Hhe figured it must have been the thrall of the Relic. Lucretia had told them about it, but he didn’t feel anything. He brushed the thought aside. “We can finally make it now.” Maureen tore her eyes away from the stone, shaking herself from the thrall that had gripped her. Her eyes went wide as she took in what her son had said. It was her turn for her eyes to light up. She spoke quietly, but strongly.

“Well, let’s get started then.”

~~~

“Ready? We’re about to make history, Luke!” Maureen beamed, calling over her shoulder to Lucas, who stood nearby at the lectern, ready to turn on the mirrors. His notebook sat on the pedestal, open to a fresh page. As soon as he hit the switch, he would be ready to write down all the knowledge his mom would be learning from the mirrors.

The Cosmoscope was their pride and joy. Lucas and Maureen spent two whole months getting everything just perfect, down to the smallest detail. They took ages transmogrifying pools of water into different types of gemstones, trying to figure out what would connect with different planes. They made hundreds, but only these eleven ended up working. 

The first ten orbited the center of the room in a perfect circle, facing Maureen and the largest mirror. Light seemed to come from within them, subtle, but strong enough to cast colored light into the room. To anyone other than Maureen and Lucas Miller, these mirrors would be nothing more than slabs of crystals. Pretty, sure, but they could do so much _ more _ than sit around and look _ pretty. _ These gemstones… they could see into different _ planar systems… _ not that anyone besides the Millers would know what that was. They had learned so much in the last couple of months that it was difficult to keep everything straight. He’d never been… _ good _ at that.

Lucas glanced at his mother. Her eyes looked more alive then he had ever seen them. They seemed to burn with a fire that he had never seen this bright. Her life’s work, _ their _ life’s work… it was here. It was right in front of them. He wished he was next to her, so they could do this as the unit they’ve been for the twenty years that he’s been alive, but someone needed to turn it on. Someone needed to write things down. Someone needed to be the scientist. Besides, he could join her soon. Or stand in that spot in another test. And, as much as his heart longed for him to be in her spot, she deserved this more than he did.

Lucas took a nervous breath, pushing his anxieties down. His pushed his glasses back. This is it. They were about to change their, no, _ everyone's _ understanding of reality itself. How would the outside world react to information like this? Could they even comprehend it? Even he struggled with it all, how would they, not being a genius? Lucas closed his eyes to clear his thoughts, shoving the anxiety down again, which had crept back up into his throat. _ Okay. This is it. Don’t fuck up now. _ He reached into his pocket and squeezed the stone for good luck. _ Alright. _ ** _This is it._ **

He called back to her. “Everything’s ready! Turning them on in three... two... one…!” He flipped the switch.

A lot of things happened at once.

The intensity of the mirrors’ lights increased tenfold, lit with impossible images of different planes, bathing the room in a rainbow of colors. Lucas quickly shut his eyes to keep from blinding himself, burying his face in the crook of his arm instinctively. The crystals hummed loudly, furiously vibrating the entire lab. The vibrations echoed in his teeth and bones, passing through him like a sharp breeze. Over the humming, a scream rang out. Deafening, and sharp. Lucas’s blood ran cold, his heart in his throat._ No. No. This isn't happening. _ Lucas Miller lifted his face from his arm, opening his eyes, and squinted into the blinding rainbow light.

“Mom?”

More screams rang out in response. As his eyes adjusted, he caught sight of his mother. She stumbled backwards, staggering, her hands covering her face, clawing at her eyes. Thin streams of blood seeped out from behind her hands, falling down her face like red tears. Lucas fumbled to switch the mirrors off, hands shaking furiously. The lights died down to their original glow and the humming slowly faded into the ambiance of the lab. Tripping over himself, he ran to his mother.

“Mom! Mom what happened? Are you okay?!” Lucas yelled, stumbling up to her. He tried to steady her, holding her shoulders tightly. His heart pounded in his chest, crushing the air from his lungs. _ What’s wrong with her? What went wrong? _ His mother thrashed in his arms, tearing away from his grasp, and eyes still covered. The screaming didn't stop. She stumbled backward and turned to the center mirror. Her hands fell from her eyes, covered in sticky blood, back turned to Lucas. And without warning or reason, she lashed out, striking the mirror with a force Lucas didn't know his mother could muster. He could only stand in horror for a moment, watching her strike this gemstone, tears flowing down his face. ** _Thunk… Thunk... Thunk_ **... Then, with a sound like a bell, it shattered into a thousand pieces. 

Shards of gemstone flew out from under her fists, some embedding themselves in her, the rest tumbling onto the ground. She shivered in the sudden silence of the room. It didn't last for long. Heavy footsteps, slow at first, echoed through the chamber, as she began to run at one of the mirrors in orbit, and slammed into it, beginning the same process as before. 

Lucas could only stand, completely frozen in horror, as he watched his own mother, bloody and broken, smash their life’s work, encompassed in a rage he couldn't understand. He couldn't move. No thoughts ran through his head as he watched; all that remained was fear, spreading over his entire body. It ran cold, as if he had stepped into an ice bath. He shuddered, his entire body convulsing. He pushed the fear back down for a moment. “Mom!” He called out in a weak voice. “Mom, stop!”. She froze, as if being controlled, arms thrown against one of the mirrors. She just breathed, and shivered. That was all she could do. Maureen turned to look at the sobbing man in the lab coat.

A sickness pushed its way into Lucas’s throat, along with the fear he tried so hard to smother. A cry escaped his lips as he looked on in horror. Her eyes were bloodshot and barely open, blood and tears seeping out, tracing lines down her cheeks. Red scratch marks covered her face. Her arms were broken and bleeding. But… that wasn't what was wrong. His mother was _ broken _. There was nothing left of her. He looked at her eyes, and there was nothing behind them anymore. Her mind was… gone. Destroyed. Shattered, like the mirrors. His mother was no longer there. Not anymore.

Maureen took a step forward toward the boy in front of her, but the energy left her body. She collapsed as soon as her foot hit the ground, crumpled onto the cool floor in a heap, not moving. Lucas screamed, surging forward. He collapsed onto the ground next to her, scooping her broken body up in his thin arms. He cradled her closely, shaking, barely able to see through his tears.

“_ Mom! _ No, oh Jesus, no, please, I can't… I can’t let this happen to you…” he sobbed, holding her head in his hands, brushing away the blood and tears from her cheeks. She breathed quietly, eyes closed. Lucas doubted she knew he was even there. She was alive but… could he even say that? His mother wasn't here.

Lucas set her down gently, then fumbled in his pockets for his Stone of Farspeech. His hand brushed by the Philosopher’s Stone. He felt sick at the touch, but brushed it off. He grabbed the pendant, yanking it from his pocket and pressing the small button on the front. It clicked, holding it to his mouth. He spoke in a brittle voice. “Lucretia! Please, I… I need you to pick up! I need, we need you right now, every-everything fucked up, please, I-I need-”

“Lucas? What happened? Is everything alright?”

He whimpered into the pendant. “Mom, she-she’s hurt, please send some-some one as soon as you can, please, I need help, we need help…”

Muffled yelling emitted from pendent, then, nothing. Silence. He sobbed, hopeless, and dropped it on the floor, reaching again for his mother. Her dragged her into his lap, holding her head gently, not wanting to hurt her more. He’d already done so much to hurt her. Lucas pressed his forehead to hers, his tears falling onto her face. He spoke in a hoarse voice.

“Mom, I’m here, please don't go… I’m so _ sorry _ , I should've kn-known… I should've done _ something _ . This is all m-my fault. Mom, I’m so fucking _ sorry. _” 

He took a trembling breath, removing his glasses and wiping his eyes. He continued. 

“You don't know how much I-I... need you, I can't _ live _ with-without you Mom, please don't leave me all alone… I’m so sorry...” Lucas pushed away more tears and blood from her face, sobbing and choking out apologies and desperate pleas for her to stay here with him. She just laid there, silent, and breathing. 

Until she wasn't. 


End file.
